Since there has been no content for a week, once again I will swoop in with my weekend review (it's been quite a few weekends) and save the day. Again. There have been lots of big and little things going on, but I have a throbbing headache and will be very selective. Something bugging you that I'm not talking about? Well, why don't you submit content? Without further adoo-doo, here we go.
I hate it when it's insisted that Story is the main reason for "games." Sorry, it just shouldn't be, I really don't care what you might say.
- It seems that the biggest whopper of news for Nintendo fans is the apparent "escape" of Silicon Knights from Nintendo's second-party grasp. Truthfully, while I can't say I saw it coming, I will say that I'm not surprised. After Denis Dyack openly stated that he believe the progression of story was the key to winning gamers' hearts, the illustrious Yamauchi shoots that down. Said Dyack in a July 2003 interview with GameSpy:
"If you look at the movie industry back in the '30s, all the people with the cool technical tricks and stuff ruled the industry. But once they standardized the camera, the people who talked about serious content came to the forefront, and they're still the major players today -- the people who told the best stories. That's where our industry needs to go now. I like Grand Theft Auto, but it's not the future. It's not. Kojima, Miyamoto, and I all feel that way. And we're working towards that." Right.
Well, 1up.com reported the fossil Hiroshi Yamauchi -- still an influence on the company in some respects -- saying, "Yamauchi explained [that] users aren't interested in 'heavy, thick, long, big' games, burdened with flashy graphics, heavily-orchestrated sound, and complex stories." Said Gamerfeed's translating machine, "Gamers don't just want beautiful graphics, sounds and epic stories" -- as according to Yamauchi.
Now this may not mean jack -- I'm just saying, as soon as Denis said the words "best stories" and "where our industry needs to go now" I felt tingly -- a bad tingly feeling. I may have bludgeoned this into your heads enough already but, again, I hate it when it's insisted that Story is the main reason for "games." Sorry, it just shouldn't be, I really don't care what you might say. And I knew this philosophy would start to sour things, especially after the dinosaur made those comments. Could they be misconstrued? Sure. Is it possible that these comments had NOTHING to do with SK and Nintendo "splitting" up, as it were? In fact it's almost highly probable that this had nothing to do with it, it's just me speculating. But whatever the case, Silicon Knights will hopefully get recognition as a good developer that will be more successful now that it can develop for all three major platforms at will. I just hope their next game doesn't give me all story and $hitty play control -- oh, like say, Blood Omen: Legacy of Kain...
- Factor 5 also seemingly ended exclusivity with Nintendo. Buh? Since when would I care? Rogue Leader was "ok." But instead I would have rather used my Cube Launch bundled-games draft pick on Super Monkey Ball. I have never played Rebel Strike but from what I played out of the demo and heard from frothing Star Wars fanboys, I'm not so sure I'd want to anyway. Although I will say that Factor 5's contributions to sound compression on the Cube are notable, ultimately I say, "N Fanboys stop whining. Who cares?"
- As you know, the Xbox dropped to one-fitty (that's $150 for the uninitiated) a few weeks (month?) ago. Unfortunately for them, Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow exists on a big bundle of joy known as... my PC. No thanks, I'll wait for some more good exclusives first.
- Speaking of Splinter Cell, I wonder how it's going to work on the Cube's lame-a$$ online platform (that is to say, NON-EXISTENT). Ubi Soft theoretically *could* LAN-enable it, but then they could have done it for Rainbow Six 3 and they didn't. Ubi Soft lazy? Yes, but Nintendo not giving the online-hungry fans what they want has much more to do with it.
- Ah, online online online. Stupid EA is finally going to lift up its skirt, grab its balls (very, very small ones) and possibly talk to Microsoft about Xbox Live. Other than the fact that I personally don't care about online gaming unless it involves a keyboard and a mouse (and NOT a MMORPG, *puke*), I'd say it's about time EA stopped being a whiny crybaby about stuff. Oh, the Dreamcast wasn't "worthy" of EA Sports games. Oh, the N-Gage is a "dog" ... which it is, but a professional and an executive should not be talking like that to the public -- wholly immature (hear that Jason Rubin? That means you too. "Dreamcast is a turd" ...dickhead...) Xbox Live's controls are in there for a good reason. Live with it.
- Metroid Prime 2. Multiplayer, and other stuf. Blah blah. Yadda. Drooling and... more drooling. Say nothing. Spoil it for me and I'll shoot you in the face.
- Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow is so god damned good, it's making me re-think my previous GBA Castlevania reviews. They seem almost mediocre in Aria's wake. I usually don't do this but I may have to re-review them. Playing Aria and then playing those games make them seem... LESS fun. That's bad, considering I just played around with Super Mario Brothers (and Castlevania... woo) for the NES and I still had a blast. Meanwhile, Aria of Sorrow is so good that it single-handedly made me stop playing my Neo Geo Pocket Color.
- EA says PSP will rock and be the next Gameboy (pffft). Analysts say that the PSP will be successful but still won't make a dent in the Gameboy's dominance (pffft to that too). I say shut up and just give me more games to play. GAMES, you hear me? None of this GSP/MP3 player bull$hit from the PSP and Instant Messaging cocksmack from the Nintendo DS. Unless they're not trying to bill either as a gaming machine... then I'm just going to stay away from both.
- Did I mention how much I hate Ninja Gaiden? I mean I love it and all, but I hate it. Curse you to hell, Stage 6-2. This is what I get for trying to legitimately beat classic, difficult NES games without using any cheat codes or Game Genies. I suck.
- I am seriously, seriously considering buying and/or building myself a Neo Geo MVS box for home use. The question is, do I like to eat or do I like scraping food out of a dumpster. Now, it's not nearly as bad as a Neo Geo AES machine, which as you all know, has games that cost upwards of $300. But with the MVS, $100 games aren't anything to sneeze at either. Hell, I cringe when I buy a game for regular price ($50) and most often wait for them to hit the stupid Bargain Bin or get a Used copy...
- I haven't touched Crystal Chronicles in two weeks. No one to play it with. Says something about its single-player allure...
- ...then again, no it doesn't, since I haven't touched Far Cry, Halo, or Metal Gear Solid: Twin Snakes either... maybe I'm just a really bad gamer.
- AnTiPoDe and I are working on something for us to know and you to never find out until it's done. First though I have to conceptualize, and I've had a week to do it.. and I have nothing... maybe I'm just a really bad conceptualizer.
- I hate the Dreamcast pad. Mostly because I suck at Guilty Gear X. Anyone know where to find an ASCII Fighter Pad for me?
- Kill Bill Vol. 1 rocks. Kill Bill Vol. 2 also rocks, but I don't own it yet, so I can't brag about how much it rocks. Crud.
- The N-Gage is back, with a new and improved look and is now known as the N-Gage QD (must stand for "Quite Dumb"). It has no MP3 player or triband phone support, but thusly it costs $99. Now see, Nokia, this is what you should have started with. MP3 player my a$$. But your games still suck and my Neo Geo Pocket Color and GBA SP tag team on your a$$. I'm not buying you.
- Can you believe SNK died three years ago? Where would gaming be without it? 3D may be great but so is 2D, without question. Take a look at the damned E3 lineup and tell me SNK sucks.
- King of Fighters: Maximum Impact (PS2)
- Metal Slug 4 & 5 (PS2, Xbox)
- King of Fighters 2002 & 2003 (PS2, Xbox)
- Metal Slug 3 (Xbox)
- SNK vs. Capcom SVC Chaos (Xbox)
- Metal Slug Advance (GBA)
- Samurai Shodown V (PS2, Xbox, Arcade)
- Samurai Shodown V Special (PS2, Xbox, Arcade)
If AnTiPoDe doesn't get a good E3 eavesdrop on these guys, I promise to elbow-drop him for you. I can't promise that he won't retaliate.
This has got to be my most ranty and un-impartial WU ever. It feels gooooooooooooooooooood... but now I must move around or my butt will get numb. That's all folks.