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Katamari Damacy   Publisher: Namco Developer: Namco Genre: Roll That Sh1t Light That Sh1t Smoke It Author: MrCHUPON

 

FIMP: Katamari Damacy [PS2]

"Katamari Damacy may be all cute, joyous and quirky on the outside. But in truth it promotes [an evil] message." Katamari Damacy is clever. Deviously, fiendishly clever. Not the gameplay, in which its simplicity belies its challenge, its genius, and its frothing addictiveness. Not the characters, most especially the King of All Cosmos, who decides that it is you -- the Prince -- who is responsible for fixing his mess... that being, of course, getting drunk and destroying all the stars in the sky. No, Katamari Damacy is evilly clever for masking its true message in a world full of pastel-colored, straight-edged, cutesy wutesy presentation. The aforementioned addictiveness further enlarges the severe cleverness with which Katamari presents its message. The game makes the act of rolling things up into a ball so intriguing, by presenting the gamer with such a multitude of objects. These objects include pencils, paper, apples, oranges, to-may-toes, to-mah-toes, po-tay-toes, po-tah-toes, cats and dogs, Tom and Jerry (no not really), Itchy and Scratchy (no not really, again), babies, toddlers, boys and girls, men and women, bovine beauties and other farmland product... that's right -- it extends to all living things and all things living. It extends to tall buildings and ferris wheels, houses and trees. Uprooting them all, you cannot help but continue on your destructive path in your quest to contribute your hard work to the heavens above by turning this massive clump you gather into a bright star. All this genius activity, to mask a simple, evil, terrorist message. What is that message, you ask? Katamari Damacy may be all cute, joyous and quirky on the outside. But in truth it promotes this message: the eventual brutal mass-murder of innocent people, pets and various objects like stationery, food items and pencils. It promotes the uprooting and malicious destruction of buildings and landmarks. And for what? Simply for the creation of meaningless stars in an attempt to appease the heavens. Oh who the fck am I kidding, this game is goddamn awesome. If you don't buy it you're a knave! KNAVE I tell you! Full review -- and a serious one, not this delirium-induced tripe of a FIMP -- to come when I have exhausted my object-rolling energy.

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